Is FUSS just being really FUSS-y about their agenda?

Model UN or Reality Show? Carter Baizen Refuses, Sydney Sweeney Throws Elbows

Things went downhill fast at today’s committee session. Cross talk was non-stop, no one listened, and when they did ask questions, they were dumber than silence.

The secretary general entered the committee, and as everyone stood up Carter Baizen wanted to be different and nonchalant and stayed sat. When the chair had asked to show respect and get up, he just said, “nahh.” Thinking he was tuff, as if he was turning down a brunch invite. 

Barack Laden (no relation, we pray) got denied a follow-up and called the chair “oh bro.” before sulking like he lost a Fortnite match. Then Barack and Sydney Sweeney started bumping shoulders on purpose like it was WWE not MUN. Yes, it was physical. Yes, it was weird. Honestly, do they think the committee is a place to play bumper wars? 

Stalavenious Josephine and Carter Baizen contributed absolutely zero to the conversation. Carter appeared to be trying to astrally project out his thoughts but gave up after making one speech per moderated caucus. Sometimes it would be none at all. Their combined energy was described by viewers as “background beige.”

 This committee seriously needs a literacy test.

Dixie Normus

The Onion