HPOA Has a Time Machine, and They Were Rude Enough Not to Tell Us

Everyone’s childhood dream has always been to build a time machine, get fame and disappear in the most iconic way ever. But it appears the delegates of HPOA beat us to it,  and had the audacity to keep it a secret. These delegates have casually achieved what Einstein couldn’t, all while mismanaging a crisis involving emus. Yes, birds.

With a crisis at hand of an emu release, delegates seem to be handling this with so much professionality (as much as  there could be with the stage being a drama club), and the best part is, their solutions are dated to take a span of two or three years. What an intelligent way of handling a crisis, when you have a time machine at hand. Joseph Lyons suggested “r&d” to develop pesticides to fight off the emu, what he did not realise is that this process takes at least 2 years, We’re not saying he’s manipulating spacetime from behind the placard, but the math simply isn’t mathing. 

On top of this, delegates are suggesting to use chemicals in farms which pose a threat to farmers and the lives of people consuming those crops as well. But these delegates could not care less about the safety of the lives they are supposed to save. Crisis turned discovery, we do not see HpoA reach anywhere, maybe their time machine could also be used to stop time and not fail their agenda, because they are definitely going to need all the time they have.

Signing off from the twilight zone formerly known as HPOA, where Einstein cries, crops die, and emus still win,

Anini Zittu

The Onion