INTERNATIONAL CHILDSPLAY COURT: PUTIN WILL RUN FREE

What better joke to laugh at than the International Criminal Court's handling of the prosecution of Vladimir Putin? The conduct of the delegates was akin to nursery children being taught playground rules: innumerable reminders to maintain decorum, acting like spoiled infants, calling numerous objections on Putin’s daughter’s statements when they didn't find anything to fight against. The delegates called Putin's daughter hostile for supporting her father's work. What does this committee hope to accomplish from this? Will the ICC be able to prosecute Vladimir Putin in the hands of these pathetic delegates that can’t even handle themselves? 

The point when Putin's daughter was brought in as a witness was when disaster unfolded. The witness was associated with a children's education camp, and within two minutes, the entire court unleashed a tirade of questions at her, asking "Are the children above the legal age?”, "Did their parents give consent?” The delegates forgot they were tasked with the prosecution of Vladimir Putin's heinous and depraved crimes against humanity. If this court were to be described in one word, it would be: finished. 

The ICC consists of the “best” legal experts of the world, yet every delegate here is unable to display basic efforts to tackle the case. All hope is lost in justice being served for the war victims, when these delegates are simply unfit for their roles and are here under the illusion of receiving awards.

For the sake of the countless lives lost to this senseless war, we pray the committee can turn this issue on its head and work together as humanity's last hope against Putin.  

Lock in ICC,

Auntie Christ

The Onion