How to Hijack History in 3 Easy Steps

In a bold new experiment blending diplomacy and stand-up comedy, the CNPC committee witnessed the rise (and swift removal) of three unforgettable delegates: Xiao Chaogui, Yang Xiuqing, and General Li Mingrui, also known as the Holy Trinity of Informality. The chaos began when the trio was sent out of the committee room for treating the formal session like a food court. Laughter echoed, decorum evaporated, and the chairs’ patience met an early demise.

But peace was short-lived. Xiao Chaogui, clearly on a mission to return before his dramatic arc ended, stormed back in demanding, “Did you send us out for two minutes or two hours?” An excellent question! But unfortunately, all we press delegates could focus on were his bright red and yellow McDonald’s-themed socks, silently screaming ‘I’m lovin’ it’ while the chair definitely wasn’t.

Meanwhile, Yang Xiuqing, confusing the committee for his living room, was fully engrossed in his phone during the session – possibly checking memes instead of motions. But the real highlight came when he needed to use the washroom. Instead of calmly raising a point of personal privilege like every other delegate in MUN history, he blurted: “It’s urgent, bro, please!” The room fell silent, and diplomacy had officially left the building.

And just behind these two, General Li Mingrui was spotted giggling at cricket videos on his laptop, contributing nothing to the agenda but everything to the chaos. Upon noticing that press delegates were watching his concerning behaviour, did he panic like a proper delegate caught slacking? No, he stuck his tongue out. Bold. Childlike. Unbothered. Possibly a national hero.

The three were last seen scheming their next grand return – a K-pop dance? A classic MJ moonwalking entrance? Or a talent show nobody asked for? Only time will tell.

Sally Monelly

The Onion