From dozing off to pissing off

The Delegate of China from AU, clearly overwhelmed by the revolutionary concept of staying conscious, opted for a full-on crash out, clearly lulled to sleep by the sweet, sweet sound of sovereignty being discussed. Chairs, bless their patience, captured the moment like reality TV directors. Somewhere between disbelief and enjoyment, they let the scene unfold like the trainwreck it absolutely was.

But this was not the only classic press’s favourite delegate act he pulled. Upon being asked to leave the committee, possibly for the fact he was treating the committee room like a hotel lounge, he gifted us all with a round of racial slurs. Just regular diplomatic things.

In an interview, when asked to comment on this behaviour, the Delegate of Switzerland summed it up better than we ever could,“This is completely unprofessional. This should not be allowed.”, “He should really be more serious about what he says during committee sessions”. No lies detected. The delegate also expressed her opinion on “properly punishing China and not entertaining his actions at all” , and we could not have agreed more. 

Honestly, at this rate, only Aladdin’s magic lamp could bring back China back to sanity, if there ever was any. We worry that three wishes may just not be enough to prevent the disaster unfolding and earnestly request the genie to increase the number of wishes for the sake of a better, or at least not worse world.

Lots of love to the chairs, you’re much stronger than us

Anini Zittu,

The Onion