Africa Unhinged : AU Enters The Multiverse of Madness.

A Tale of El Primo, Yeeted Baguettes, and Lost Sanity

What happens when diplomacy takes a coffee break and chaos takes the gavel?

In what historians will soon describe as "the most happening yet most out-of-hand committee,” delegates from various African countries abandoned addressing human rights infractions and genocide, instead plunging into behavior so absurd even a reality TV producer would've passed for being "too on-the-nose."

The chaos began when the delegate of China made explicit hand gestures during a formal session—acts vivid enough to earn an HBO Max content warning.

Meanwhile, in an act of geopolitical rage gaming, the delegate of the Central African Republic was caught playing Brawl Stars mid-session. Rather than forming resolutions, he was forming 3v3 teams. Though he maxed out on trophies in brawl stars, his MUN award odds? Unclear. The AU chair later transformed and channeled his inner DJ and made him hilariously dance to “El Primo dancing to Bara Bara” to lighten the mood.

Escalation hit peak absurdity when Ghana’s delegate (who was constantly rage baiting) was removed multiple times, once for yeeting a plushie baguette at the chair’s table. At this point, the only thing “uniting” the African Union was the shared commitment to absolute nonsense.

Truly the diplomatic equivalent of a group project where no one did the reading as the delegate of Ghana brought snacks instead of notes. Although, as crumbs settle, one question remains: Has diplomacy died? Or simply evolved into chaotic warfare?

And that’s on solving nothing but serving drama,

Dixie Normus

The Onion