UNODC: United Nations of Disastrous Communication

For the first ever time, CNN made their way to UNODC for a press conference. Welcomed with rolling of eyes, hushed whispers and multiple stink eyes, our expectations were shattered. Well, isn't professionalism something that is expected from such an important committee? WRONG. CNN sure had a delightful experience in the amazing committee of UNODC.

Let's start with the delegate of Italy. He seemed pretty confident at first, you know, probably thinking about how he probably wouldn't get called on by the press. Was he thinking correctly? Well, not exactly. He was asked about his intentions behind simply reiterating the definition of rehabilitation during his 15 second speech. When he was asked the question, by the press delegate Hugh Jass, he had confusion across his features. He rose, showing the intent to answer the question, but proceeded to reply with 'No comment', and simply sat back down. Give us a break, delegate. The speech given during the GSL was completely irrelevant, and if he knew the points he made were inconsequential, then why make them in the first place?

Next up we have the delegate of Russia, who was asked why she suggested about using forced rehabilitation when it can bring up feelings such as fear and resentment which could be 10 times more dangerous for the people. Expecting an answer, the press waited eagerly for the delegate of Russia's response to which we received, “uhm and uh and…..*silence*” not just any silence, pin drop silence. The delegate was unaware of the answer to a question about a statement she said herself. Why could this be? Fear? Nervousness? Lack of competence? We’ll never know but what we know is that if there is one thing the delegates of UNODC are good at, its being unaware of their surroundings and what they're talking about, 'yapping' in internet colloquial terms.

But hey, it's UNODC. It's foolish to expect properly formed replies. What can be expected without fail, however, is disappointment, every. single. time.

Seymour Cox

CNN