UNODC on the Record: 'No Comment,' 'Uhm,' and Other Greatest Hits

If the UNODC press conference was an exam, the results are in: nearly everyone failed. The event was a masterclass in how to evade, deflect, and crumble under the slightest pressure. The most breathtaking performance came from the Delegate of Italy, who, after being asked a straightforward question, stood silently for a while before uttering a dramatic "no comment." His powerful display of knowing absolutely nothing set the tone for the rest of the conference.

He was in good company. When the Delegate of Libya was asked about her sources, she proudly declared them to be "my head and the internet," later adding that it was her "first MUN" as if that excuses a total lack of research. The Delegate of Ethiopia, when questioned, simply repeated "okay but do you understand my response?" for what felt like an eternity, without ever providing a real one. Not to be outdone, the Delegate of Russia offered a symphony of "uhms" and "uhs," punctuated by long, painful silences. The press came seeking answers on global crime but instead received a detailed report on which delegates had clearly done zero preparation for this conference.

Mimi Giganto

CNN