Sydney Sweeney and Stalavious Josephine: Icons of Chaos, Not Diplomacy

As the FUSS committee keeps spinning into a black hole of procedural chaos and theatrics of dysfunction, two delegates have dominated the limelight not for their policy work, but for writing the book on how to get ejected from a Model UN session with panache. First up: Sydney Sweeney. No, not the actress, though you’d be forgiven for the confusion, given how this delegate carries himself with the swagger of a red-carpet regular and the focus of a Netflix teen drama extra. After being formally removed from the committee for inciting disruption and creating a ruckus that rivaled a high school cafeteria food fight, Sydney exited not in shame but with glory in mind.

As he emerged, he turned to face the press delegates, struck a pose, and remarked casually: "You can photograph me if you please." He added a moment later, "Do you need my autograph?" We don't know whether this was part of some PR campaign or if he just believes the press are contractually obliged to adore him. Whatever, it was a stunt. One chair was overheard complaining, "I didn't know we were hosting the Met Gala."

Stalavious Josephine, however, took the less glamorous route into exile. At a proper committee session where, in principle, one does some listening to addresses and perhaps decides world crises Josephine was spotted glued to their phone, scrolling wildly as if they were searching for concert tickets, not UN policy. Rushed out for offending decorum, Josephine stage-left left for a two-minute timeout. No one has any idea what exactly was so captivating on the screen, presumably live coverage on its own committee's breakdown but the message was clear: FUSS isn't a phone-friendly zone unless you're researching how to make a public recovery. These two delegates collectively force the memory that in FUSS, the only thing more common than crosstalk is complete indifference to diplomacy.

Hugh Jass

CNN