"Close ChatGPT!": The Most Urgent Statement in DISEC

The Disarmament and International Security Committee’s session on the Rohingya crisis began with a parade of flimsy arguments and zero coordination. It was a masterclass in disorganisation, but the committee still managed to tunnel to a new low. In a horrible display of unity, almost every delegate voted for a motion to start a discussion, only to then sit like silent monuments when it was time to actually speak. The collective fear was so thick that the Chairs had to forcefully pick delegates, who then proceeded to talk about anything but the topic at hand.

The day's true, unforgettable highlight, however, came from the Delegate of Italy, who decided to outsource his brainpower to an AI. In a moment of shameless technological dependence, he was openly using ChatGPT right in front of the press. IT TAKES ONE TO HAVE SUCH AUDACITY!! The silent horror was finally broken by the Delegate of the UK, who hissed, "The press delegate is right behind you! Close ChatGPT, you're ruining our committee's reputation!" however, saying this informally, this desperate plea was, ironically, the most coherent and on-topic statement made all day. Let's be honest: in a room this unprepared, the only real threat to international security was the Delegate of Italy’s search history.

Mimi Giganto

CNN