The 0 Minute Speech by Barack Laden

In the most surprising turn of events, which are one of many in FUSS, senator Barack Laden walked up to give his speech. Except, he didn’t give one, and yielded his full 1 minute 30 seconds to POIs.

When forced by the chair and multiple baffled delegates to actually deliver the speech he walked up for, the senator was left to scramble for words—words that built perhaps the most unprofessional speech that has ever taken place in the committee room.

After calling a party, and quote ”Lowkey, I don’t know, mentally challenged?," the senator proceeded to answer a POI concerned with the USA’s consequently plummeting economy with “Yo, bro, get your facts right! The only problem America is facing is Virexia-69!”

While this press delegate is aware that hoping for more fruitful speeches for FUSS may be wishful thinking, this press delegate believes the committee can perhaps explore slightly more productive ways to waste time.

Fandin Noora,

Xinhua News