Sydney Sweeney, Yuno Miles, Barack Laden, Kai Moorthy & freinds.

The delegates of FUSS seemed more interested in scavenging for excuses rather than owning accountability for their failure to pass their crisis directive. We press delegates seemed to be having a conversation with parrots, as the repetition of “different viewpoints” and “opposing ideologies” was all we could get for answers. 

Despite having around 20 senators present in the committee, only about 5 senators seemed to care enough to address the press’s questions. With most of the senators slouching and looking out windows like main characters in teen rom-coms. 

When confronted by the fact that the committee took 25 minutes to draft a directive even though there were 20 senators present, Hamaze Tony simply explained “we had no coordination.” We leave it to you to decide whether or not the US senate should have a bit more coordination than elementary schoolers.

When they weren’t repeating the same thing over and over again, they were simply plastering the word “mistake” over decisions that could decide the fate of the USA. Sydney Sweeney expressed his concern for the country, or lack thereof, by reacting to their failed crisis joint directive with “Joint directive was a mistake. We failed the crisis. Why are you still on it?”

We press delegates hope that this committee takes their role more seriously, and manages to act at least to save what’s left of the population.

Fandin Noora, Misha C. Lani, Methra M.S, Haryana Gilpreet,

Xinhua News