HPOA: HELP THEM AUSSIES

The economy in shambles. One would expect the HPoA delagtes to discuss trust funds or address the public in this situation;instead, they chose to come onto the GSL to apologize for the start of the committee session. Let your dearest press delegate tell you what had happened.

The series of events that occured throughout the commitee session were astounding to sday the least. We first had Sir George Pearse sending a proclamation to the public instead of a portfolio to the chair—further eroding public trust, as the portfolio had shared military details. Meanwhile, the emus stormed the crops; further destroying them.

To combat the problem at hand, the whole committee was hoping to continue the bounty-based system. That's when a bright soul called Joseph Lyons proposed spending multiple years developing a research and development department, investing millions in the development of a pesticide—this could work, if any of the crops remain by then.

Another smart apple of a delegate, named Sir Josilth Francis, suggested that the farmers concentrate a strong pesticide in the severely affected areas. When asked “how is it safe for a human to consume a crop which could knock out a 40 kg

bird," and “how will the farmers go and apply pesticide in an emu-infested

area and risk being trampled”—the delegate froze.

Moving another notable incident involved the like of Sir Fredrick Harold Stewart. The delegate asked the Western Australians whether they liked money; an attempt to bribe the public? I wonder which war is at play here, the emus and the Aussies, or Sir Joseph Lyons and the whole parliament.

Amongst bribery, pesticides, and Emus, I truly hope that some help is sent to this divided

committee so that they can fix up the economy. Till then i'm signing off.

Humisha Halpert,

Xinhua News