HNCF: God’s Vision Justifies Execution

PARIS, France – The Historic National Convention of France today delivered a press conference that was less about policy and more about peculiar pronouncements. Delegates clarified awareness of "resources" and justified giving institutions "a free hand" against foreign enemies.

Time-wasting was dismissed as "not that big of a deal" for "3 words." Pickup lines were defended as "integral to MUN" and demanded by the president.

Anachronisms abounded: a delegate's laptop tabs were blamed on a volunteer, then declared "I drew it. I'm an artist." Another, caught using ChatGPT in 1792, asked, "how come AI exists?" then admitted it.

Divine intervention was cited for political decisions: a delegate claimed lightning brought God's vision against Louis XVI's execution, and a "vision" prompted "bruh[ing]" a letter instead of burning it.

During crisis, a delegate asked if actors were "brown" for "physical appearances," admitting "yes" to racism when pressed, to "not waste time?"

Factional unity remained elusive. Delegates claimed to "bridge the gap" but insisted "nothing else I can do," stating "I am nobody's leader." Despite an approved "committee directive," they justified submitting two.

The press conference revealed a Convention where the bizarre reigns supreme.

Gam Sandwhizh,

Xinhua News